Lets Talk About Sex 2018-01-08T21:40:15+00:00

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  • mninn
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    As someone who is having sex and hears other women discuss their sexual encounters (I promise it’s an important topic for feminism), there’s one particular aspect of female sexuality that irks me: the orgasm gap. Just to be clear, I use the term “orgasm gap” to refer to the disparity between how often men finish during heterosexual sex compared to women. It is a fact and it needs to be addressed.

    To be clear, this gap is not women’s fault, nor are men solely to blame. Rather, there are a lot of factors at work or not at work. For one, anatomy can explain that the clitoris in particular is not ideally positioned for stimulation during penetrative sex. That, coupled with a communication breakdown when it comes to pleasure, as well as the framework of the “hookup culture,” which tends to focus on benefitting men more than women, leads to the frustrating gap.

    As one of my female friends described her experience with casual hookups in college: “During sex, it’s a big deal when men don’t finish, and it’s definitely not the same when women don’t reach orgasm. And somehow when men don’t finish it’s his partner’s fault. Something women should get worked up about. Yet, with women there’s this attitude of ‘oh well that’s normal’ or ‘better luck next time.’”

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